Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everybody.
A few tips to help you to enjoy Christmas.
1) Decorate the house when you can. Shred coloured paper or material and spread it around.
2) Be grateful when your human erects an indoor toilet, and use it as much as possible.
3) If any presents are left by the indoor toilet, open them when you get a chance.
4) If it is edible chew it. To test for edibility, chew it. If in doubt, chew it again.
5) When visitors come, take a big drink then shove your cold wet nose in their groin.
6) Hang out with children, they do not protect their food.
7) At meal time, keep quiet, hide under the table and wait for food to fall.
8) Beware of drinking spilled liquid while under the table. It can make your legs wobbly.
9) Big sad eyes, a waggy tail and a pathetic whimper will always get treats.